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Dear Bernice – The Skip Industry’s Agony Aunt

Happy Springtime, Skippers.

It seems my request for letters from the blokes didn’t fall on deaf ears, you fellas seemed to have carried a lot on your shoulders emotionally, so it’s nice to see you seeking advice. Well, spring is in the air, and so is romance for one poor lovesick skip hire worker, and I’ve been asked to plan the engagement of a skip boss as he ponders the best way to propose to the love of his life. All in all, it’s made me re-evaluate the way I think about you guys – you’re all dead soppy at heart aren’t you. And there was me thinking you were gruff, hairy tough guys!

Well, the more the merrier, so if you have anything you need to unload or get of your chest, drop me an email at dearbernice@theskip.net. You know what they say, a problem shared is a problem halved!

Dear Bernice

There’s a girl at work that I have a massive crush on. We get on really well together,a lways have loads to talk about, have loads in common and are similar ages. The problem is she’s in a relationship. And she doesn’t seem that happy with it. If you ask me, her bloke is a bit of a tosser – he doesn’t appreciate her and talks to her really badly. She’s been in this relationship since she was a teenager, and it seems to me it’s so much a part of her life that she doesn’t know how to get out of it. I’d mind my own business, but I sometimes catch her looking at me and I know if we were together, it’d be amazing.

One thing – I’ve already told her how I’ve felt. It was pretty awkward for a time, but OK now. I was pretty drunk and she took it as well as she could. She obviously didn’t reciprocate, but I can’t help but think she has some feelings towards me. She’s just going out with this tool, and doesn’t know how to deal with it all.

Lovesick

Southampton

Hello Lovesick

Nice to get some men looking for advice for once! This is a classic case of being helplessly in love. You love this woman (go on, admit it!) but you obviously respect the feelings of her and her man to do anything about it. And you think she likes you but she’s too good/lost to wreck her current relationship despite it sounding pretty much dead. Remember The Office on TV? Remember Tim and Dawn, the bittersweet office relationship? This is an identikit of this. Tim was painfully in love with the woman he couldn’t get. And what happened? Dawn, at the eleventh hour, decides to completely change her life, walk out of the damaging relationship, and into the arms of Tim – the good guy. The thing is, Lovesick, you really can’t do much until she has the strength and sense to shake of the shackles of her current relationship. In my expereice, shed might not be that far away. She sees you, she knows that not all men are like her current boyfriend and she starts comparing him to you. Be patient Lovesick, if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. But first, she has to come to you. Good luck.

Bernice.xxx

Dear Bernice,

I need some advice. I met my partner four years ago next month in our skip yard. I own it, and she was a friend of a friend who came in to help with the accounts. We were mates for ages until a few years in we got together. We’ve been inseparable ever since and have built up a successful business together through thick and thin. I want to do propose to her on this anniversary milestone and tell her how much she means to me, and how she still makes me feel like a teenager in love. Any ideas, Bernice?

Young at Heart

Lancashire

Young at Heart! You’ve got me feeling all soppy now! You’re obviously both big time in love, and this is amazing to see especially as you both work together and have got through these difficult times. OK, well, I can suggest the obvious – champagne, a weekend away, a nice dinner. But if you want something really memorable, you may want to do something along the same lines of what a colleague of mine did to his wife a few years ago. He took her out for a nice late lunch and told the lads in the yard the plan. When he arrived back, he took her to the office on the first floor and told her to look outside. The lads had all lined up with their wagons in the yard each with a placard with a letter on each one spelling out ‘Jean, Will You Marry Me?’ They’d also rigged some fireworks up. When she saw this, she burst out crying and said yes, and the fireworks shot up into the winter evening sky. Champagne was popped and work finished early. It was very, very cute. You could perhaps try something like that…whatever it is you choose the best of luck and I hope she says yes!

What is it with all you men this month, deciding to spill your guts out to little me? Well, keep them coming, guys! See you next month!

March 9, 2010 at 12:20 pm | Dear Bernice | No comment

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Binman Dies On Round

The Skip mag is sad to report the death of a binman was killed when he was apparently crushed by his lorry in Gloucestershire.

Emergency services were called to Aldsworth Close in Fairford as soon as the accident occurred.

The man, named as Ian Moody, from Malmesbury in Wiltshire, was reported to have been trapped between the lorry and some bins.

The 52-year-old, who worked for waste company Sita, which has a contract with Cotswold District Council, was pronounced dead at the scene.

Gloucestershire Police, the Health and Safety Executive and Sita have begun an investigation.

A Sita spokesman said: “At this difficult time our thoughts are obviously with his family and work colleagues.”

He added: “Sita UK takes its health and safety obligations very seriously.”

Everyone involved in the incident had been offered counselling, he said.

A police spokesman said the the corner has been informed.

March 7, 2010 at 12:13 pm | Uncategorized | No comment

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The Yellow Pages Mountain – at a Landfill Site Near You!

It once saved the day for old fogie, J R Hartley, but these days Yellow Pages are more fly tipping than fly fishing.

Councils are complaining about the numbers of Yellow Pages that end up straight to landfill as consumers have long since been using online directories like Google or Yell.

The bulk of them are also causing a problem for refuse collections as they weigh down loads. It seems that most of the population get sent their Yellow Pages and throw them straight in to their wheeliebin.

According to the Local Government Association, unwanted phone books create 75,000 tons of waste paper a year.

Disposing of the books costs taxpayers £7.5million a year in England alone – enough to pay for 491 teaching assistants or 259 social workers, or to fill in approximately 108,700 potholes.

The LGA said householders who do not use the directories should ask BT, Yellow Pages and Thomson not to deliver copies.

Gary Porter, chairman of the LGA’s environment board, said: ‘Picking up the new phone book from the doormat, removing the wrapper and throwing it straight in the recycling has become an annual ritual.

‘Cutting down on the number of pointless phone directories could save millions and allow councils to spend more on vital services like care for the elderly.’

March 6, 2010 at 12:12 pm | Uncategorized | No comment

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Fancy That!

What have Mr Blobby, Grimsby and an 8 cu yd builder skip got in common?

Well they all converged together to make a riotous Saturday night out in the north eastern town recently!

Harlequins Fancy Dress Shop unfortunately shut its doors this month, and a skip was ordered to clear the premises of the stock. Costume after costume was thrown in and after the clearers decided to call it a day the skip was left there until the next Monday.

Big mistake.

Of course, this being Saturday night, the skip attracted a drunken crowd of ne’er do wells (we’d do EXACTLY the same thing, given half the chance of course). Within minutes of being discovered Mr Blobby, a gorilla and Henry VIII were doing the conga down Grimsby High Street.

Reports of Cher and a Franciscan monk getting frisky outside the Yates’s Wine Lodge are unconfirmed, but we do have hot gossip on a fat Elvis and a pink bunny bumping and grinding to some LL Cool Jay on the local dancefloor.

For this story alone, we just love skips!

March 4, 2010 at 12:09 pm | Uncategorized | No comment

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